A Safe Place to Begin Again: Jamie’s Story

This month, we sat down with Jamie, one of our clients at Calvary Women’s Services, to hear a remarkable story and journey to overcome domestic violence, addiction, and, finally, a hard-won healing. As we approach Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM) in October, Jamie’s story can help raise awareness and unite individuals and organizations working together to prevent and end domestic violence.

Jamie is an accomplished hospitality professional who was raised in an upper-middle-class family. Her childhood was threaded with etiquette classes, the quiet rituals of a family that valued appearances and more.

Her upbringing gave her confidence and drive, but also planted a complicated seed, and the need to perform became second nature. An early wound blurred her understanding of love and harm. This caused her to suppress pain and keep up appearances no matter what happened behind closed doors.

Hospitality rewarded the very skills Jamie had honed since girlhood: grace under pressure and the art of making others comfortable. In 2019, when she met a partner who seemed to need her as much as she desired to be needed and channel her gift of comfort, those same instincts turned against her.

He was charming but profoundly codependent—emotionally and financially. He did not work, and when the bills mounted, Jamie’s family helped them both. “I just felt trapped, because so many of their resources were extended for our help.” Over time, the relationship darkened. His need for control became suffocating, then violent. Jamie tried to “fix him,” convinced that if she worked harder, the man she’d once seen would reappear.

“My job is to fix. My job is to make it right. He was just a very strong force that I could not fix. So, it was something that I couldn’t achieve. And so, I just tried, tried, tried, tried just to make things right because that’s what I was programmed to do. I tried to make it work, to make it right, to make him right. I suppressed my needs, my wants, my fulfillment for others.”

The first time he struck her, Jamie was stunned. “I had never been hit before. I had never been in this type of situation,” she says. Shame and pride kept her silent. “When it became visible, physically, I stayed in it because of shame, because of pride and ego.” Three years later, she checked out emotionally, and drugs once again became her refuge.

By early 2025, Jamie felt empty, and one night after using again, she wandered the streets searching for a safe place to breathe.

“I was so hurt. I had been walking the street, just kind of looking for a place to go and kind of just, I really wanted to die. My spirit wanted to live, but my flesh wanted to die. My spirit wanted to live but I did not know how to do both.”

It was the cruel paradox of abuse: the will to survive locked in a battle with exhaustion and despair.

She briefly entered another housing program, only to find herself forced out by systemic gaps that left her once again feeling unseen and unprotected. With nowhere else to turn, she returned to her abuser.

A few days later, her phone rang. On the line was Josalyn, a case manager at Calvary’s Reach Up housing site, telling her that a bed had opened.

Jamie remembers the rush of relief. A single call felt like a lifeline. That day, she left for good, carrying the certainty that she deserved to live—flesh and spirit.

Since arriving at Calvary earlier this year, Jamie has thrown herself into healing and transformation. Jamie has also made the intentional decision not to rush back to work full-time. This is a radical act of self-care. Calvary empowers our clients in ways that reflect how best they feel empowered, and we recognize that prioritizing healing and pause is essential.

Today, she pours her energy into art and service. Guided by her case manager, Emily Miller, she says that “she has been very instrumental in helping me navigate my emotions and my feelings by allowing me to not only hear her story but to share my story openly.”

“She got me in a safe space emotionally and physically here at Calvary, so I do appreciate her for that.”

Music, always her passion, is now a public declaration. She stunned the audience at Calvary’s Juneteenth talent show with her soaring voice, which is a testament to her voice returning literally and figuratively after just six months in our program.

She now volunteers at a local organization that supports and feeds individuals who are recovering from substance abuse. This is a full-circle moment that reflects just how far she has come in her own healing journey. The same hospitality that once masked her pain now becomes an offering of compassion, dignity, and shared understanding. The polish she learned as a girl, once a survival tool, is now a gift she gives freely, all while centering her own growth and fulfillment.

“I went from victim to volunteer, and now I am walking in victory.”

Jamie’s story illustrates a hidden truth. Domestic violence often thrives in silence. It cuts across class, race, and neighborhood lines. The National Domestic Violence Hotline reports that, nationally, one in four women (24.3%) aged 18 and older have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. Women often remain with abusers because leaving can mean poverty, danger, and homelessness.

Jamie shares a message to women who have experienced domestic violence: “There is safety. Any place where you feel uncomfortable, leave, period.”